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“That’s why we brought her to see you
“The benefits may far outweigh the penalties For the moment, the Swede couldn’t understand what the doctor was explaining and replied, “But, no, no–watching her stutter is killing my wife
“Maybe, for Merry, that’s one of the benefitsShe is an extremely bright and manipulative childIf she weren’t, you wouldn’t be so angry with me because I’m telling you that stuttering can be an extremely manipulative, an extremely useful, if not even a vindictive type of behavior He hates me, thought the SwedeIt’s all because of the way I lookHates me because of the way Dawn looksHe’s obsessed with our looksThat’s why he hates us–we’re not short and ugly like him! “It’s difficult,” the psychiatrist said, “for a daughter to grow up the daughter of somebody who had so much attention for what sometimes seems to the daughter to be such a silly thingIt’s tough, on top of the natural competition between mother and chanel clutch daughter, to have people asking a little girl, ‘Do you want to grow up to be Miss New Jersey just like your mommy?”‘ “But nobody asks her thatWho asks her that? We never haveWe never talk about it, it never comes upWhy would it? My wife isn’t Miss New Jersey–my wife is her mother
“But people ask her that, Mr
“Well, for God’s sake, people ask children all sorts of things that don’t mean anything–that is not the problem here
“But you do see how a child who has reason to feel she doesn’t quite measure up to Mother, that she couldn’t come close, might choose to adopt–”
“She hasn’t adopted anythingLook, I think that perhaps you put an unfair burden on my daughter by making her see this as a ‘choiceIt’s perfect hell for her when she stutters
“That isn’t always what she tells meLast Saturday, I asked her point-blank, ‘Merry, why do you stutter?’ and she told me, ‘It’s just easier to stutter’ “But you know what she meant by men’s omega watch thatIt’s obvious what she meant by thatShe means she doesn’t have to go through all that she has to go through when she tries not to stutter
“I happen to think she was telling me something more than thatI think that Merry may even feel that if she doesn’t stutter, then, oh boy, people are really going to find the real problem with her, particularly in a highly pressured perfectionist family where they tend to place an unrealistically high value on her every utterance’If I don’t stutter, then my mother is really going to read me the riot act, then she’s going to find out my real secrets’”
“Who said we’re a highly pressured perfectionist family? JesusWe’re an ordinary familyAre you quoting Merry? That’s what she told you, about her mother? That she was going to read her the riot act?’ “Not in so many words
“Because it’s not true” the Swede said”That’s not the causeSometimes I just think it’s because her brain is so quick, it’s so much miu miu black bag quicker than her tongue–” Oh, the pitying way he is looking at me and my pathetic explanationCold, heartless bastardThat’s the worst of it–the stupidityAnd all of it is because he looks the way he looks and I look the way I look and Dawn looks the way she looks and”We frequently see fathers who can’t accept, who refuse to believe–” Oh, these people are completely useless! They only make things worse! Whose idea was this fucking psychiatrist! “I’m not not accepting anything, damn itI brought her here,” the Swede said, “in the first placeI do everything any professional has told me to do to help support her efforts to stopI just want to know from you what good it is doing my daughter, with her grimacing and her tics and her leg twitches and her banging on the table and turning white in the face, with all of that difficulty, to be told that, on top of everything else, she’s doing all this to manipulate her mother and father
“Well, who is omega geneve in charge when she is banging on the table and turning white? Who is in control there?”
“She certainly isn’t!” said the Swede angrily”You find me taking a very uncharitable view toward her,” replied the doctorin a way, as her father, yesIt never seems to occur to you that there might be some physiological basis for this
“No, I didn’t say thatLevov, I can give you organic theories if you want themBut that isn’t the way I have found I can be most effective
Her stuttering diaryWhen she sat at the kitchen table after dinner writing the day’s entry in her stuttering diary, that’s when he most wanted to murder the psychiatrist who had finally to inform him–one of the fathers “who can’t accept, who refuse to believe”–that she would stop stuttering only when stuttering was no longer necessary for her, when she wanted to “relate” to the world in a different way–in short, when she found a more valuable replacement for the chanel j12 manipulativeness